“Making love is a powerful connecting force with your partner. Pregnancy and the new life to come is an extension of that creative force. We need to respect the connection between procreation and sex, as the two forces are intertwined, yet distinct. We make love to share a deep, intimate way with someone we love. A new life – a child - can be a result of that union. During pregnancy, that baby is connected with the exchange of energy that occurs during lovemaking. Very possibly, the baby likes the loving energy and all the rocking and moving about.” (Singingtree 1999)
You will never find two pregnant women, their pregnancies, or their babies identical. With each individual person and pregnancy, there will always be some differences. One of the many concerns for many pregnant women is their sexuality during pregnancy, and often a concern for their companions as well. “How long can I have sex, can sex hurt the baby, will sex make me go into labor, is it suppose to hurt, is it normal to not feel like it, is it normal to want it all the time, why do I have contractions during or after sex?”
The answers to these questions are also going to be different for every individual, and every couple should feel confident when communicating their concerns to their health care provider. Listed below are just some of the possible changes in sexuality during pregnancy, which may help a couple better comprehend the normalities of sexuality and help prevent the frustration that often comes otherwise.
Why am I?
Clear communication is essential between couples so there are no misunderstandings or unneccessary feelings of rejection. Father’s will have a variety of different feelings throughout the pregnancy about love making which could cause problems in the relationship if not clearly communicated.
Today, unlike the past, midwives are often encouraging the parents they are working with, to make love, and lots of it! If there are no current risks, history of premature births and an intact mucous plug and membranes – not only is it safe, it may be extremely helpful. First time parents especially, love making while in the rear entry position allows for a great deal of stretching, preparing the perineum and vaginal walls for birth. This position is often more comfortable for both a mother and her baby rather than her being on her back. Continue to do your research and talk to your health care provider, because sex may not be beneficial for you depending on your personal circumstances. “My clients without sexual partners have many more vaginal lacerations than those with sexual partners.” (Singingtree 1999)
More benefits of sex during pregnancy:
Effect of Coitus at Term on Length of Gestation, Induction of Labor, and Mode of Delivery
Peng Chiong Tan, Anggeriana Andi, Noor Azmi, M. N. Noraihan
Obstet. Gynecol., Jul 2006; 108: 134 – 140
When do I avoid sex/orgasm? – Talk to your health care provider!
Below are just some of the reasons your health care provider may advise you not to have sex:
Mayo Clinic – Sex during pregnancy — If your doctor agrees, follow your sex drive where it leads.
Gentle Birth Archives
Singingtree, Daphne. Midwifery Workbook, 3rd ed. Oregon: Eagle Tree Press, 1999.
Varney, Helen. Varney’s Midwifery, 4th ed. Ontario: Jones and Bartlett, 2004.